A Day in the Life of Will Wight
A lot of people wonder what I'm doing in times like these, after I've just released a book and I'm in the process of starting another.
If you're one of those people, I thought you might enjoy me walking you through an average day in my life.
I set my alarm for a random time in the middle of the night, often roughly around three o'clock. As soon as it goes off, I sit up abruptly and yell "AHA!" to startle anyone who might be watching me sleep.
I haven't caught anyone yet, but one day it will pay off. One day.
This is about when I wake up. I'd like to sleep in longer, but by this point the owls are all pecking on the windows to be let in.
I don't have a shower, but my house is below sea level, so I just sort of open a hatch in my bathroom ceiling and let ocean water gush in.
After that, I normally have the traditional Floridian breakfast: fried gator tail and an entire orange, skin on.
Now I stack a bunch of empty boxes on a portable plastic table from Wal-Mart, carefully balance my laptop on top, and get to writing.
I start the writing day full of energy, optimism, and ideas.
Realize the book is terrible. Every word is worse than the one before.
Remember that I only have two days left before some self-imposed deadline. Roll a leftover orange from breakfast across the keyboard until the letters randomly form words.
The orange has spelled out "LOOK BEHIND YOU," so I spin just in time to catch the machete descending on my head.
It's the salty mariner who tethers his house-boat next to my home. He has once again decided to test my reflexes to ensure they are sharp enough to survive what he calls "The Coming Flesh-Storm."
Lunch! I check the traps.
If I've caught a shark, then shark meat's on the menu. If it's a mermaid, then I get a wish, so I wish for veal ravioli. If the traps are empty, I usually go to Chick-fil-A.
Except on Sunday. If the traps are empty on Sundays, then I have to settle for grilled seagull.
I've been in a trance for two hours, and I snap back to discover that another page has been added to my book manuscript. Nega-Will must have taken over my body again.
He likes to slip in excerpts from the Necronomicon to get people to accidentally summon eldritch demons.
I remove any references to Al'meg'nidyyn and all incomprehensible symbols, then I read the rest of what he wrote.
It's pretty good. His Dross lines are great.
At this point, I like to take a break and exercise.
I wrestle for a while with the manticore staying in my spare room. She takes it easy on me and usually doesn't inject me with much venom.
This is about when I wrap up writing for the day. I print out all the new pages and slip them into the Creativity Incubator, which will take the nonsense I wrote and magically make it good.
For dinner, I either heat up some leftovers or strike one of the Gnashing Fruit from the Seven-Headed Tree with my javelin. Either way, I relax afterwards in my full-immersion VR tank that I bought on clearance from Area 51.
While I wait in the decontamination chamber to get into my sleeping chamber, I hypnotize myself to encourage drowsiness.
When that doesn't work, I have to give up on the decontamination process and get my mariner neighbor to hit me on the back of the head with an oar. That usually does the trick, and I get to collapse face-first in my bed already asleep.
So anyway, that's pretty much what I do all day.
11/5/2020 01:35:19 pm
I think I enjoy your books so much because I enjoy YOU so much! Thanks for being amazing!
11/5/2020 01:43:11 pm
Yeah the books are amazing, but they’re just better because I’m such a huge fan of the author haha
11/5/2020 05:57:24 pm
Wait, I thought oreos were a staple to your everyday diet? Oh, you didn't mention them because its a given you eat them with every meal, got it.
11/5/2020 01:39:37 pm
Well, now I understand how your books grab me more strongly than any others.
11/5/2020 01:45:27 pm
I agree with Matthew. You're a wonderfully entertaining human being that produces fantastic, quality stories that allow for such immersion and wonder that they stimulate the soul for extended periods of time. Thank you for everything you do!!!
11/5/2020 01:46:33 pm
I recommend getting a Chimera for a wrestling buddy. Variety is the spice of life.
11/5/2020 01:57:53 pm
This made me laugh... a lot. Thanks for writing it.
11/5/2020 02:16:09 pm
Such a busy schedule 😂 Amazing that one can write such fantastic books within this time frame of chaos!
11/5/2020 02:19:56 pm
I can confirm all the Florida details are true an accurate.
11/5/2020 02:26:04 pm
Are you sure you're not living in the Floridian-equivalent to Valinhall? That mariner is sus, and sounds a lot like a certain cloak spooky guy with chains and all...
11/5/2020 07:47:30 pm
Nah that's just average Florida life.
11/5/2020 02:28:19 pm
I regret to inform you, but, you have caught me before with the "AHA" trick...
11/5/2020 02:47:08 pm
Definitely try eating a mermaid instead next time of setting it free for a wish. I heard it does wonders for health and longevity.
11/5/2020 02:53:29 pm
I missed the Area 51 clearance sale?!
11/5/2020 03:33:08 pm
I can actually hypnotize you. That's something I'm good at.
11/5/2020 04:55:07 pm
What book are you writing next?
11/5/2020 05:21:08 pm
I'll get you sooner or later. Beware the coming flesh storm!
11/5/2020 09:18:55 pm
Yikes! That 7AM start is scary! Don't do it, Will. I have a movie I want you to watch, it's called Deep Blue Sea.
11/5/2020 09:34:48 pm
Can you confirm that the next cradle book will be "X?" I know it seems counter-productive to skip the number "9" entirely - I mean, if you're not going to go in order, what's the point of a numbering system to begin with? But, trust me, it's a well thought out tactic which shows you're savvy. Also, you should make a change from a regular numbering system to Roman numerals for no apparent reason. Now that you've got these 2 genius tactics, you make the boldest move yet and you implement them together at the same time! Everyone is so confused as to how they got to this point that they simply buy your product! Now, here's the real kicker: when you release the following cradle book, you go back to the old way and proceed to cradle 11 like nothing happened.
11/6/2020 01:02:48 am
seems like somebody's throwing some shade at a certain tech company...
11/6/2020 07:33:24 am
We all are concerned. It seems that you, Will Wight, forgot to schedule the most important aspect of the Floridian day. When do you cycle Yummy Prune Juice to help development of your Sewer Snake technique? It is a known fact that Florida is a place many go to cycle Prune Juice. Many practitioners of Dookie Blasting and Monster Log Cabin Builders have been seen cycling in Florida.
11/6/2020 09:43:53 am
Must be tough living such a hectic life.
11/6/2020 02:42:22 pm
Florida Man Will confirmed???1?!1!
11/7/2020 03:14:20 pm
LIES! There's no way you could hit the fruit with a javelin... And don't even get me started about actively pursuing wrestling with the Manticore. I would say the Manticore just wanders in and stings you and you're just trying to make yourself look good by saying you wrestle it. And that fruit? I specifically remember stalking you and seeing a ladder near that tree....
11/7/2020 09:35:44 pm
11/9/2020 07:15:55 am
WHEN IS THE NEXT ONE COMING? WHATS THE PLAN ?
11/9/2020 11:10:45 am
From all the various site information from different platforms, the plan is like april for Bloodlines, the next in the Cradle series.
11/9/2020 02:00:32 pm
Is this the Voice of Cradle I hear.... ?
11/10/2020 08:09:13 am
Nope, same first name though
11/9/2020 09:49:08 am
11/9/2020 09:11:12 pm
Will you are amazing. But you have ruined me for other writers. Not their stories, but their work efforts. Do you realize you have written SEVENTEEN Amazing novels since "A Dance with Dragons" and "The Wise Man's Fear" came out? Keep up the great work, and may you always have Oreos on hand.
11/10/2020 03:54:48 am
so true! Will, both anticipate and dread you finally finishing Cradle - it has more than fulfilled the early promise that Unsouled and Soulsmith demonstrated! I have to say, Wintersteel has given you a high bar to meet and exceed with your next book!
11/9/2020 09:52:42 pm
Will, does the name Orthos secretly come from your not so secret craving for oreos?
11/10/2020 03:04:30 am
Great work on all the books so far - they are so much fun to read, the witty one liners get me every time. I get weird looks in public when i'm pissing myself to something Yerin, Dross or Eithan especially come out with; cannot wait for Bloodline
11/12/2020 09:38:38 pm
So what's your address? I want to be there when you cry out in the middle of the night so I can respond,"What the hell man? You scared me."
11/23/2020 03:09:22 am
Oh. My. God! This is so spooky. This almost exactly mirrors my average day. Except I live in a submarine which is constantly moving from port to port so Bill Gate's nanobots cant track me. Also I'm not an award eligible author. Instead I write Will Wight erotic fiction and then put in into empty bottles and jettison them out of my torpedo tubes. Other than that, its exactly the same
1/9/2021 01:51:59 pm
This was amazing. Please copy yourself (using any method that actually works) and write an autobiography.
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