Now that I've adjusted my peg leg and straightened my eyepatch, I emerge to share my wishes for you this Christmas!
May you open a gift and find a dragon egg waiting for you within, iridescent to the eye and warm to the touch.
May you find a worn and battle-scarred Santa waiting for you with his hat in his hands, begging you to take over his powers and defend the North Pole from eldritch invaders.
May you roll a snowball only to find its cold seeping through your fingertips, into your veins, crawling up your bones and changing the very heart of who you are...you have received the Gift of the Snowball, and now you can conjure a perfect snowball into your hands at any time of year.
May you dig into Christmas dinner to find that each bite sends new strength flooding through you. Every bite of ham drives away your old wounds and illnesses. Every cranberry sharpens your eyesight, every dinner-roll your hearing. The potatoes pump power to your limbs, and every sip of wine (or juice--I don't know how old you are) quickens your thoughts. You emerge from the dinner table in a perfected version of your old body.
May unseen elves clean up your wrapping paper. And also your house while they're at it.
And if Christmas has already ended for you when you read this post, may you raise your eyes from this screen to see a red-and-green portal ready to take you back in time to a Christmas day on which all of these wishes came true.
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