It hasn't been long since Halloween, so I don't do much for Thanksgiving.

I do always condemn a turkey to execution. That's a rule. The President pardons one, but turkeys actually hate that. Their judicial system is entirely based on the principle of "a feather for a feather, a beak for a beak," so when one fowl criminal gets unjustly pardoned, I have to accelerate the punishment of one turkey on Death Row.

Don't worry, I make sure to sharpen my turkey-beheading axe "The Gobbler" so the birds don't suffer.

Most years I watch the Big Game, unless one of the gladiators pulls a hamstring or a gorgon escapes into the stands to feast on the spectators, when it gets canceled. My family used to get tickets and go to see the Big Game live, but now each ticket costs an entire piece of cursed Spanish gold, and we can only afford blessed Spanish gold.

Of course, we make Thanksgiving dinner like everybody else. I'll roast the turkey I personally executed while reading its heinous crimes from a long scroll, we'll pluck cranberries from the Cran-Nexus and let unrestrained dimensional forces smear them into a sauce, and the Mashed Potato Man will deliver mashed potatoes to our house by flinging them through our open windows and onto our plates.

At night, just before bed, we'll list out all the things we're thankful for from the past year. It's part of our annual ritual to ward off Nocturne, Demon of Nightmares, who is repulsed by rhythmically chanted gratitude.

-Will

Every Halloween, I rise at 12:01 AM so I can catch the first of the ghosts arriving. It’s a long way from the Seventh Great Netherworld, so I can usually make a few spirit-dollars just by listening to their complaints about the trip and serving them an ectoplasmic cocktail.

Roughly around dawn, when the ghosts go inside my personal crypt to hide from the accursed rays of the sun, I get to work.

This is actually my busiest day of the year, though I rarely get any writing done. In many cultures across manifold dimensions, “The Will-Wight” is pretty much the Halloween version of Santa Claus.

Year-round, my dark elves from the South Pole labor in subterranean workshops, crafting tricks and traps for all the bad children across the worlds. You might expect that the good kids get candy, but actually candy goes to the kids with the best masks.

And to the parents.

I spend the daylight hours preparing for my journey. On the first Halloween sunset, I split into uncountable fractal clones, which go on simultaneous deliveries to every trick-or-treating household. As night spreads across each world, so do my innumerable clones, which vanish with daybreak on November 1st.

I don’t wear red, but I do dress up in a different costume every year. Tonight, I’m making all my deliveries as Nien Nunb.

I don’t carry my tricks and treats in a sack but rather in a spatial storage Jack-o-Lantern, which spits out the appropriate delivery at each house. Instead of reindeer, I have reindeer-eating bats. And, of course, instead of a sleigh I drive a 1967 Chevy Impala.

As my legion of clones collapses back into me, leaving me with their fractured memories, I know the night is winding down. I spend the last few hours hanging out with the ghosts, who usually leave me with a few immaterial gifts before moving on to the Eighth Great Netherworld.

By midnight, I’ll crawl into my coffin exhausted but satisfied. There’s nothing like the look of joy on a child’s face after you reward them for their innovative Zombie Buzz Lightyear costume by tossing a Reese’s down into their bag from five hundred feet up.

After all, isn’t that what Halloween is all about?

—The Will-Wight

Will's brother, roommate, and Raion enthusiast Sam here, hijacking the blog for some news!

As many of you know, the majority of our team lives directly in the path of current category five Hurricane Milton. I would insert an Office Space joke here, but I’ve never actually seen it. So before we lose power and Florida sinks into the ocean where it belongs, a few notes:

-Our Kickstarter for limited editions of Uncrowned, Wintersteel, and Bloodline is pushing $960,000 with four days left to go!!! That is SO MANY OREOS! Reminder that the campaign closes this Friday, October 11th, at Noon Eastern. Huge thank you to everyone that continually blesses us and reaffirms that Cradle fans are the best fans!

If you would’ve told me two years ago that we would see a Kickstarter closing in on a million dollars not once but THREE times, I would’ve called you a liar and slapped Will. What a world.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/author-will-wight/cradle-books-7-9-by-will-wight-special-editions

-We have digital rewards for our animatic Kickstarter that were supposed to go out this week. We’ve decided to postpone that to next week so our team can focus on evacuating or getting their houses prepared as needed. We have some awesome updates we can’t wait for you all to see!

-Hardcover novels of Cradle books 1-6 are now available through Barnes and Noble and other big box retailers like Waterstones if you’re international! The rest of the series is available for hardcover preorder as well, with 7-9 coming in February and 10-12 next summer.

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/cradle+will+wight/_/N-5

-Threshold, the collection of Cradle stories Will is writing, is further along than we expected. A release in the next few months is imminent. Unlike our “normal” releases, we will give plenty of notice about release date since Kickstarter purchasers will get access to the book a month early. Be extra wary of spoilers!

Our team appreciates all the warm wishes and messages! Even for seasoned Floridians, this storm is no joke. If you are in the path, especially on the west coast, please be smart and safe. Hunker down with some snacks and a book.

​Might I be bold enough to suggest The Knight, book three of The Last Horizon, written by some idio…I mean wise and handsome individual.

First and most importantly, you all are amazing for your enthusiastic support of the Kickstarter! I would call it "overwhelming."

Even though this is our third time running a special-edition Kickstarter, it's still unbelievable to see such a high number. As of writing, we're almost at $900k!

My wrist is about to be sore from signing again. That's a great problem to have.

Speaking of which, I'm not in a wheelchair anymore! [Insert celebration emoji here] I can return to my highly celebrated international soccer career at last.

This week, we at Hidden Gnome have begun our annual Conclave of Gnomish Elders, whereupon we go into seclusion to determine the future of all gnomes, hidden and otherwise. I'll be underground all week, consulting the signs and omens.

The first omen has told me that it's almost time to return to The Last Horizon. My journey with The Pilot will continue soon, which means that Threshold is effectively finished. More news on that...

Well, I'm not sure what I can tell you. I haven't consulted the portents yet.

[Insert crystal ball emoji here]

​-Will

Are you in Atlanta, Georgia this weekend? Do you want to listen to me rant for a while before resuming the rest of your life?

Then come on down to the Embassy Suites by Hilton Atlanta at Centennial Olympic Park* tomorrow at noon! Our event is from 12 PM to about 3 PM, the last section of which will be a signing (we'll have postcards to sign if you don't want to haul your own books).

You don't have to stay for the whole thing, you can just pop in and hear my old man ramblings and leave, or you can just come for the signing at around 2:30, or whatever you want to do. Freedom!

But you do not need a DragonCon badge to attend, since this isn't an official DragonCon event and is more of a secret underground meeting that we happen to be holding at the same time as DragonCon.

See you there! I mean you will definitely be there; I have foreseen it.

-Will

*Address: 267 Marietta St., Atlanta, GA, 30313